Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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