Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
