Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
