I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize