is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize