turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
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