Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I supernannyed him into submission
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
