we have officially lost it.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize