Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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