Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
