This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize