The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
