do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Dear god my vagina.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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