wake up i wanna do it froggy style
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
