i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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