Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
