you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
