yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
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She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
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It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Shame - the story of my life.
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