So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
