Duck Duck Cougar?
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
