Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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