explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize