Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
