a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
