Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
