why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
