so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
