Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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