All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Randomize
