Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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