just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
