I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize
