I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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