whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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