Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
