You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
