its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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