Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(916): View more from California

People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.

Fav 3 1141 683
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

You can't wash away shame.

(1-781): View more from Massachusetts

I can try.

Fav 8 1681 891
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(469): View more from Texas

I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.

Fav 9 5527 988
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(770): View more from Georgia

I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.

Fav 9 4256 2522
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(720): View more from Colorado

I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls

Fav 11 4087 1411
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(954): View more from Florida

I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday

Fav 10 1948 878
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(317): View more from Indiana

do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?

Fav 16 2451 1293
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(416): View more from Toronto

I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit

Fav 4 714 361
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(734): View more from Michigan

Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.

Fav 1 62 9
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