The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Randomize
