Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
my being single is dangerous.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize