If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
do herpes really smell.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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