Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
