idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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