Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
All I want is dick and wine.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
