If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
