ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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