I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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