I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
