the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
