you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I need water and some morals
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize