Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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