just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
