Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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