All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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