i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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