I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
