You're so nebulous sometimes
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Randomize
