the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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