I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
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He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
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How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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