I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
